conversations

As a full time parent I do find myself attending a number of toddler groups and as with any group of parents, various child related topics are always discussed. These tend to be either about toilet, food, sleeping or the silly things children say or do. However, there are two topics that always become the topics of the moment at the arrival of a new bairn, yep, you guessed it, childbirth and breastfeeding.

Now, I was at the birth of both my children and have sat by my wife while she feed, and in the case of the young lady continues to feed, our children, but what do you say when the conversation starts? Do you sit to one side looking awkward and say nothing, do you nod and make agreeable noises just to partake or do you make comments based on you other halves experiences? Generally I go with the latter and tell them about what I do know and what I've seen and leave out the personal detail and let them infer the finer points.

One example would be the birth of our children, who were at opposite ends of the spectrum, as the wife was pushing for 3 hours with one and the other popped out in less than 20 minutes. That and they were 8 1/2 lbs and 10 1/2 lbs respectively. Now I know it was painful for my wife but exactly how painful? No idea, but other women tend to understand and when you mention facts and figures like the ones above they seem to know what your taking about, and the conversation moves forward.

It's that same when it comes to breastfeeding, and again, what do you say? Not a lot can be said I guess, but I make a few comments here and there. But am I right to do so? Or should I just keep to one side and to myself.

Now I think I'm lucky as the people at the groups I go to seem to be pretty relaxed around me and I just get treated like one of the 'mums', so I don't feel uncomfortable joining in and adding my thoughts. Also I have no qualms about joining in, yes I'm a man and have never done these things, but I have witnessed them and spoken to the wife about them and more importantly for me, I'm a full time parent and I see some of these people more than I see my mates (which isn't nearly often enough, but that another story) and so just sitting silently ever time a conversation I'm not 100% up to speed on happens, could mean some very quiet and boring toddler sessions. I mean part of why I go is to get me out of the house and socializing with other adults, and we are all adults after all, so why shouldn't we all be able to have a sensible conversation.

Ummm, well that nearly turned in to a rant about nothing!

I suppose what I'm asking is should I avoid/feel bad about joining in conversation about two things, breastfeeding and childbirth, that I know nothing about with people who have very extensive first hand knowledge? I would say no, I may not have first hand knowledge but then I'm sure most of them haven't sat where I've sat when its all going on. So we all have something to contribute and that is really what conversations are all about.