New toy.

Ok, so this isn't very baby related, although it does involve children's car seats.

My beautiful wife gave me an early birthday present the other day.

 The car

Three very important number 

Yes, I realise that most of you are going to have one of two reactions, either, that's an old car or why have you got an MG. Well, yes its old and yes its an MG and I love it! I had an MG ZR 160 in my youthful bachelor days and I sold it as it was sitting around on sorn (Statutory Off Road Notification or not taxed/registered for road use) rusting away when we were sailing. I didn't really want to sell it but I couldn't justify keeping it either. Ever since I've wanted another and I've looked at a couple but it was never the right time, as I could never justify spending the money on something we didn't need.

The old MG ZR 160

However, when this one came up for sale I had to have a look, it had everything I wanted, 2.5 litre, 180BHP V6 with the proper boy race spoiler on the back. I drove it and loved it, only to be told that the seller had changed his mind and needed to keep it as his other car was broken (needed a turbo rebuild). Little did I know my wife was conspiring behind my back to surprise me for my birthday, I didn't have a clue.

I drove home the other day to see it sat in the drive, taxed and insured ready to go. Needless to say we went for a drive and I've been nipping out in it at the slightest opportunity, I'm still grinning just writing about it.

Sometimes I just can't understand how I've been so lucky to end up where I am, a beautiful wife and two wonderful kids, a lovely home and now an amazing car

Just because........

Mother Nature at her best

These pictures are from a few weeks ago, when I was down at the in-laws. There is a walk near by that runs along an old rail track and includes a few of the old bridges and tunnels and leads to the Costa I was relaxing in in the previous post.

It's a nice little walk away from everything or rather it was until the flooding and storms that happened over the winter! Now it's not quite so picturesque, although it still has a strange beauty to it, not to mention some pretty aweinspiring sights.

Above and below are two picture of one of the bridges that once stood on the track, the other bridge is further along and is blocked off as you have to either cross an unsafe bridge or pass through an unsafe tunnel, both of which I don't really fancy doing. Ten years ago I would have given it a second thought and I would no doubt have some pretty cool pictures to show for it, but today I'm not nearly as brave or reckless, plus I'd have to explain it all to the wife and that wouldn't be fun. Anyway, as you can see the bridge is totalled and they weren't some flimsy things either but proper Victorian heavy engineered jobs from when the railway line was first laid.

It would have taken a high amount of force to move the bridge like that and the other bridge was removed entirely from its abutment. Yes, there was a lot of debris in the water, including a couple of caravans from one of the holiday parks! And further along just out of view from where these pictures were taken there was a land slide of significant size.

These are fence posts, believe it or not. You can see about the top 6 inches on some of  them but the several feet of fence underneath has disappeared. The grey area in the picture has all been filled in with debris from the flooding and is only a small part of what can be seen.

There is also a road that runs higher up the hill, which now shows some classic signs of land slip, I really should have taken some pictures as they were amazing to see. It reminded me so much of my school days and the crappy examples they always use to show, maybe next time I'm there I'll take some pictures and send them in to my old school teachers.

You have to admire mother nature though, sure she causes all sorts of problems for us, floods, snow storms, strong winds, the list is endless but there is very little else out there with such brute force and mastery of all it touches.

conversations

As a full time parent I do find myself attending a number of toddler groups and as with any group of parents, various child related topics are always discussed. These tend to be either about toilet, food, sleeping or the silly things children say or do. However, there are two topics that always become the topics of the moment at the arrival of a new bairn, yep, you guessed it, childbirth and breastfeeding.

Now, I was at the birth of both my children and have sat by my wife while she feed, and in the case of the young lady continues to feed, our children, but what do you say when the conversation starts? Do you sit to one side looking awkward and say nothing, do you nod and make agreeable noises just to partake or do you make comments based on you other halves experiences? Generally I go with the latter and tell them about what I do know and what I've seen and leave out the personal detail and let them infer the finer points.

One example would be the birth of our children, who were at opposite ends of the spectrum, as the wife was pushing for 3 hours with one and the other popped out in less than 20 minutes. That and they were 8 1/2 lbs and 10 1/2 lbs respectively. Now I know it was painful for my wife but exactly how painful? No idea, but other women tend to understand and when you mention facts and figures like the ones above they seem to know what your taking about, and the conversation moves forward.

It's that same when it comes to breastfeeding, and again, what do you say? Not a lot can be said I guess, but I make a few comments here and there. But am I right to do so? Or should I just keep to one side and to myself.

Now I think I'm lucky as the people at the groups I go to seem to be pretty relaxed around me and I just get treated like one of the 'mums', so I don't feel uncomfortable joining in and adding my thoughts. Also I have no qualms about joining in, yes I'm a man and have never done these things, but I have witnessed them and spoken to the wife about them and more importantly for me, I'm a full time parent and I see some of these people more than I see my mates (which isn't nearly often enough, but that another story) and so just sitting silently ever time a conversation I'm not 100% up to speed on happens, could mean some very quiet and boring toddler sessions. I mean part of why I go is to get me out of the house and socializing with other adults, and we are all adults after all, so why shouldn't we all be able to have a sensible conversation.

Ummm, well that nearly turned in to a rant about nothing!

I suppose what I'm asking is should I avoid/feel bad about joining in conversation about two things, breastfeeding and childbirth, that I know nothing about with people who have very extensive first hand knowledge? I would say no, I may not have first hand knowledge but then I'm sure most of them haven't sat where I've sat when its all going on. So we all have something to contribute and that is really what conversations are all about.

In-laws

So we're spending the week at the in-laws, partly due to the wife having a conference down the road and partly due to it being free accommodation.

Now I want  to get in quick and say that I get on very well with my in-laws, including brothers and sister in-law, so this isn't going to be a rant about the terrible in-laws. In fact I've learnt a lot from the father in-law, most of my DIY skill have come from him.

My main thoughts on this post are about taking advantage of the in-laws and is it wrong to do so. The same applies to my own parents as well, I just happen to be at the in-laws as I write this, so it's kinda focused on them.

So what am I rambling on about? Well when I'm at the in-laws I tend to hide in bed until late, sometime until lunch time, and I tend to duck out of parenting responsibilities whenever I can. Is this bad? I don't really think so, grandparents I feel are there to take some of the pressure off of you and give you time to recharge your batteries. Obviously the grandparents have got to want to be involved, luckily mine do and are happy to. Quite often they will take the kids out while I monge in front of the TV all day.

But is this taking advantage of there good will? After all they are my children not theirs and they have raised their own children and in my in-laws case they still are, as the brother in law is still at school.

Take today as an example, I went for a walk to Costa, then around town and finally for a tea in a café by the park, before finally joining the wife and in-laws in the play park with the kids. I enjoyed my relaxing day but have done no childcare at all, and plan on doing so as much as I can while I'm here. From my own point of view, I remember my own grandparent not really helping with childcare at all, in some cases being quite the opposite. My wife's grandparents on the other had helped a lot with the childcare, doing school runs and taking them at the weekends. Either way both sets of grandparent want to help and seem to enjoy doing so.

Now I'm going round in circles with this post, so I'll pose the question one last time;

Is it right to take advantage of the grandparent in such a way?

a little peace and quiet

Well as a first proper post this is going to be short and sweet.

Currently I am sitting in Costa with a large mocha with extra cream, a bakewell tart and a mag, practical classics (March 2015 issue! It's the last eat I've got around to reading). I'll try and get a picture up here when I get home, my phone isn't clever enough to figure out how to do it, even though it gives you The option too! The rest of the tribe is with the in-laws at the soft play several miles down the road and I'm enjoying a rare child free moment.  Not something I get to do very often, such is the joy of in-laws.

I do rather enjoy these moments, and no I don't feel bad about it either, I do believe that you've got to have some time out every so often and I'll hopefully post a blog later this week about in-laws. Time out from the kids is a rare and precious gift I find, and one I never turn down, although it is even better when its spent with the wife.

When I've finished in here, I'm gonna wonder the local town ( local to the in-laws) and relax before heading back. Hopefully refreshed and ready for the chaos.

Well I hope your enjoying your long bank holiday weekend or work if your not having a long weekend.

Edit: the picture i promised, better late then never!

why a blog and why now?

Ok, so this blog is taking a little longer to get going then I had initially planned, mostly due to the holidays and having relatives visiting. I'm hoping to get things moving along soon, but with a trip down south to the in-laws (due to the wife's work) it may not be as soon as I had hoped. However, before I get in to the general content of the blog, (of which the ideas are piling up) here is a little bit on why I have chosen to blog.

I touched briefly on this in the first post, but I thought I would expand things a little here. I've written a bit about my life in the page above, but I wanted to add some more thoughts here and explain a few things before we got to far along.

Since I met my wife, some 8 years ago, we've had pretty similar ideas on raising children, i.e. one parent to stay at home, and as I mentioned, I never thought it would be me. When they started making redundancies in the company I worked at, my department was the only one who didn't have any redundancies, although a couple of contract staff didn't get their contracts renewed. So, it was fairly evident that we were next and as it turned out, they made several redundancies and also went down to a 4 day week! My wife on the other hand had just finished her training and was contracted to 2 years work. So we chose the 2 years of pretty much guaranteed work over possibly no work, not a particularly hard choice. So started my time as a househusband.

Once the little man came along it was just natural that we would continue on the same path, I would continue at home and the wife would continue at work. I seemed natural and sensible, rather than me having to try and find a job the could support us. I have worked several times during my stint as a househusband/father, working evenings or weekends around the children and wife, but it always cuts in to family time, mostly as working usually occurs at weekends or evenings, the two times when were all together or time when the wife and I get to have some quality time.

With the arrival of the young lady, time has become even more precious. These days I find there is never enough time, even with the little man being at nursery, to get all the chores done and get time to relax and enjoy my hobbies. DIY work pretty much takes up most of my evenings. So your probably wondering why I started this blog? Well, mostly because I though it might be a good idea, as a platform for many different things, either for me to moan, to ask questions (and maybe get answers), to see what others out there are experiencing, (mostly other full time dads, as there doesn't seem to be many blogs dedicated to us), to ponder the universe and the meaning of life. Ok, maybe not the last two, but you get the idea.

I hope that in some small way this may bring others full time dads together. I personally don't know any other full time dads, there are a few dads who take a leading role in childcare, but none that I know who are full time dads. I think in my wildest dreams I see this blog becoming the centre of full time dad universe, but in reality, I guess it'll probably just be me shouting at the internet, a lot.

So, hopefully there will be some actual content up soon!

introduction

Well, its taken a while longer to get this post together than I hoped, probably something to do with trying to start a blog during half term! Who thought that would be a good idea! Oh well, the little man is back at nursery and the young lady is asleep, so with out further delay, here it is;

So, I thought that I would write a little about myself, my family and my life, just so you know what I have to deal with on a daily basis. There will be a more in depth version in the tab above, but I thought I'd give you the basics here.

So, currently we live on an island in the north sea, just about as far north as you can get and still be part of the UK. It's a wonderful place to live, full of beautiful scenery, stunning coastline and friendly people, you just have to put up with the wind and rain, the dark winters and the fact that sometimes you can't get the things you want (but there's tons of the things you don't!). Personally I could stay here forever, but life may not allow that.

When I say we, I mean myself and the dear wife, who works far to hard but it supports us all and our lifestyle, then there are the little ones, the little man, 4, and the young lady, 1. Then there is the horse, a recent acquisition and my wife's hobby, and shortly there will be two cats.

We came to live on this island due to my wife's job, a promotion opportunity that she couldn't pass up, even if that meant cutting short her maternity leave. It is our second trip up here and even though our first trip lasted only 6 months, we were quite happy to return.

I started on the journey of stay at home parent as a result of circumstances, nothing more. While we had talked about a stay at home parent, I never even thought it would be me at home, stereotypical I know. As it happens thought, I think I'm better suited to the life (and so does the wife), even if my housework skills aren't always up to scratch!

Most of the time its a great life, full of joy and happiness, most of the time anyway, some of the time I wouldn't mind trading the pair of them in for a quieter model (or ones that slept!), but it never lasts long. With the end of the holidays  in sight, I'm looking forward to having a few hours of peace and quiet when the little man is at nursery and the young lady is having a nap, just enough time to catch up on all the housework I've been ignoring over the holidays.